Redefining the Power Struggle

Power struggles in marriage are often born of feelings of insecurity and inferiority (from childhood) in the guise of the macho man or controlling woman. They are fed by a society that breeds a competitive spirit. Many spouses believe that they have to constantly “prove” themselves and their “worth” through achievement and “winning.” They need to “win” and to be “right” all the time to feel important.

Partners locked in a power struggle define their relationship in competitive terms: I win, you lose. The truth is, however, marriage requires a different skill: it requires COOPERATION. That is why, ironically, the highly successful competitive businessman/businesswoman may fail at marriage, because marriage requires different skills. In marriage, whenever either partner wins, they both lose (because the marriage loses).

The goal of this mini workshop is to help couples recognize when power issues may be operating in their marriages and to teach them how to get their relationships more in balance by redefining “Winning as WIN/WIN.”